Yeah yeah, here it is then.
I was sitting on the train home this afternoon, next to a perfectly ordinary business man, after a perfectly ordinary day thinking, “Eurgh! How shit! The first day of my blog and NOTHING interesting happened! Not one single retarded train station character accosted me, the dog didn’t do anything weird yet … what the hell will I write about!?”. So I got off the train, walked to my car – still nothing. Driving out of the carpark, however, creepy-weird-security-guard-guy waved at me in his creepy way that he always does (the kind of “holding hand still and just wriggling fingers, with a creepy smile” wave), but I was still thinking – not blog worthy, eurgh!
So I drove out of the train station, and got onto the highway, the car infront of me suddenly stopped, and I, like, totally crashed into it, and then thought “OMG! Rejoice! Something interesting happened!” (No, I jest, it was something more like “FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK OMG, FUCK! FUCK!“), and then I decided it would be a good idea to drive off the middle of the road.
Having reached the safety (and utter embarrassment) of the median strip (is that what it’s called?), I decided it would be a good idea to eject my Kooks CD, just in case, you know. You would think the next step would involve simply opening the door and getting out, but apparently that’s not allowed in this kind of situation. I can’t think of any adequate similies to describe trying to open a door when a car has decided to smash itself in such a way that the door visually looks normal, but functionally refuses to open more than a centimetre, but the surreal “pull/push with extreme force, only to be shunned by the door” action was played out twice each by me, my dad and the tow truck driver (they both didn’t believe me when I said they both wouldn’t work). Ah, I just thought of a similie; it’s just like when you aren’t really paying attention/looking when you go to open a double doored fridge/cupboard, and it turns out that you’ve pulled on the opposite handle to what you thought you were pulling on. It just feels wrong.
Anyway, after clambering out of my car via the back (ft. jeans half falling off, as they do), smokey-girl from the other car came and smoked in my face – I mean, talked to me. I can’t recall what she said, but I do remember thinking I would surely choke on and subsequently die from the smoke that she kept blowing directly into my face. Wait, I guess she said something about breaking suddenly because the car infront of her breaked suddenly also, or something, and then she wrote down the stuff on my license (but she spelt my last name Dekka, even though she was copying it). She said she was going to go and get the guy who was driving’s details, but instead they drove away :smth: :smth:
So I called my dad and he said he’d be right there. Cue: 15 minutes of sitting in my fucked up car in the middle of a major road with every … single … motorist looking at me as they drove past. Yeah, anyway, yadda yadda, he rung the RAC, then we attempted to strip my car of anything of any remote value (minus the CD player 
), and the tow truck people came and took my car away. Then we decided to drive past the house in Secret Harbour to see if mum left her car behind (because she’s in Quaringingingdingiling place this weekend), because I need to drive to work this weekend. She didn’t, but there were some letters for me – a Costa Rica bill and a letter from Centrelink kindly informing me that they’ve stopped paying me Youth Allowance because I haven’t reported, which is shiiiit because I only missed out last fornight’s one, and I was going to do it double this Monday, like they have always previously allowed me to do! No one ever gave me no warning or anything, WTF!
Anyway, end of the story – I have to get a lift with Margaret to Meadow Springs (half way to my work) at 5am tomorrow, and then take 1 and a half hours worth of buses to get to Halls Head for my 8.30 start. The public transport system sucks. Halls Head is 10-15 minutes from Meadow Springs.
Irony. noun. Listening to “See the World” at the exact moment that it becomes pretty much impossible for you to go and see the world as planned.
